When we started dating, you knew I was afraid.Afraid that I'd get hurt again, just as much as how every other guy did to me.
We dated for almost three months, because I wanted to make sure you're different.
That you'd treat me right.
But look at us now...
Only a few weeks after we got together, I found out about Faisyah.
But what other option did I have left, but to stay?
You and Faisyah happened when we were only dating, so you weren't entitled to anyone.
It hurt me, it really did.
But I gave you another chance, hoping that it'd never happen to us again.
Then, Freshmen Orientation happened.
You became very busy with numerous camps that you've started neglecting me.
A simple text or a phonecall didn't appear in my phone for days.
Worse, sometimes it stretched for a whole week.
The whole drama happened between me and my mom, and you weren't even there for me.
Rather, you chose to be somewhere else.
You even wanted to break up with me than to face our problems together.
It was a dark period of time for me, that I've never felt so alone.
You made me feel so horrible about myself for more than two months.
Eventually, you just stopped trying to please me and I gave up hoping.
Then, June holidays happened.
I went for a three-weeks vacation overseas, which meant I had to leave you here alone.
Considering everything that happened, I managed to built back my trust in you.
We exchanged messages via online, and I continually felt connected with you despite the distance.
Until Syafiq's chalet, and something had to happen between you and my bestfriend.
I may have not known Freida for long, but I grew to love and trust her for that short period of time.
Not to mention, she was also your childhood bestfriend for 10 years.
Imagine how heartbroken I was to find out that you two made out while I was gone...
Moreover, hugging each other to sleep without showing any respect infront of my friends.
It was a huge slap in my face.
It hurt me more than it hurt anybody in that chalet.
But yknow what, I stayed with you anyway.
I figured that I loved you too much to let you go...
And that maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that and finally take that second look at yourself.
Look at us now...
It's been 2 months and I could only feel that I'm losing you.
We barely meet in a week, sometimes we don't even meet at all.
You don't call or text me anymore, as if I've done something wrong to you to deserve this.
For the past 12 months, all I did was to take care of you.
To make sure that you're at the peak of your happiness.
Even if it meant sacrificing my own...
I've lost so much faith in this relationship, that it'd take a miracle to fix it all back.
Atleast I can say to myself that since Day 1, I've been who I am to you and everybody else.
But I can't honestly say that you've been too.
You've lied about so many things, that for 5 months I thought I knew who you were.
Until you broke down at Selynna's chalet and told me everything there is I needed to know.
But did I go anywhere? No.
Heck, even after Selynna kicked you,
Fick slapped you,
Freida beat you up,
Imah cried and pointed fingers at you,
I was just right there, calmly holding your hand telling you everything'll be alright.
Congratulations, you won.
I feel very much pathetic now.
